YAN CHAOOO KENG!
Nope that's not what my name truly means; nope that's not a recognised nickname; and nope that's not what I've been up to in camp.
Unfortunately that's what almost everyone in camp thinks. Well if your camp mate has taken 47 days of excuse running, marching, jumping, in total, on and off since a month ago (inaddition 1 day mc and i was just given 30 this morning) you would. Now take my vocation into consideration. Here in FDS, more unfit men will mean the same amount duty more harshly spread over the remaining, already strained manpower. Then take the cause of all this is into account: my folly; a miscalculated jump over a drain when I didn't actually need to cross it. Brilliant.
Here's the truth: I can't run for long distances. At distances beyond say 500m my ankle starts working up. Anything above 2km requires a kick scooter. As much as I need the status to ensure a recovery, I want to be able to carry out normal duty. Not physically-slack-mentally-tiring hiding in cctv room duty. Especially when someone who draws pay (not allowance) decides to feel important and remind me to stare at the sacred screens, or watch someone who draws allowance (like me) play doctor and prescribe "remorse" to "speed up" my recovery. Not that my physically weak body doesn't produce any of its own.
What can i do anyway? The damage to the shift has been done. All I wanted was to be excused from physical training and a specialist referral to ensure I'll return to duty fitness asap. (referral wasn't given because MO say I was already recovering on my own) But when I returned I was declared useless because I can't give chase when needed. So we are 1 able bodied man down and 1 useless man up. And we have enough useless men already.
I'll like to think most people in camp see me as being reserved and responsible. Responsible is definitely gone now. Even if they consciously know its not entirely my fault, their sub-conscious mind is rewriting their impression of me. And if you like to play doctor and is reading this, yes i'm writing to ease my ever insufficient guilt, so feel free to give me reviews and that same prescription that I'm gonna malingering on.
Edit: Para 3, expressions; Para 4, referral
Unfortunately that's what almost everyone in camp thinks. Well if your camp mate has taken 47 days of excuse running, marching, jumping, in total, on and off since a month ago (inaddition 1 day mc and i was just given 30 this morning) you would. Now take my vocation into consideration. Here in FDS, more unfit men will mean the same amount duty more harshly spread over the remaining, already strained manpower. Then take the cause of all this is into account: my folly; a miscalculated jump over a drain when I didn't actually need to cross it. Brilliant.
Here's the truth: I can't run for long distances. At distances beyond say 500m my ankle starts working up. Anything above 2km requires a kick scooter. As much as I need the status to ensure a recovery, I want to be able to carry out normal duty. Not physically-slack-mentally-tiring hiding in cctv room duty. Especially when someone who draws pay (not allowance) decides to feel important and remind me to stare at the sacred screens, or watch someone who draws allowance (like me) play doctor and prescribe "remorse" to "speed up" my recovery. Not that my physically weak body doesn't produce any of its own.
What can i do anyway? The damage to the shift has been done. All I wanted was to be excused from physical training and a specialist referral to ensure I'll return to duty fitness asap. (referral wasn't given because MO say I was already recovering on my own) But when I returned I was declared useless because I can't give chase when needed. So we are 1 able bodied man down and 1 useless man up. And we have enough useless men already.
I'll like to think most people in camp see me as being reserved and responsible. Responsible is definitely gone now. Even if they consciously know its not entirely my fault, their sub-conscious mind is rewriting their impression of me. And if you like to play doctor and is reading this, yes i'm writing to ease my ever insufficient guilt, so feel free to give me reviews and that same prescription that I'm gonna malingering on.
Edit: Para 3, expressions; Para 4, referral
Labels: NS, tinking too much
posted by YC Huang at
Friday, March 12, 2010
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